Saturday, December 3, 2016

Written by Keith Shirey

Saturday, 3 December 2016
by Ray Charles
As background to this story, Donald Trump spoke with President Dutere two days ago and reportedly praised him on his extrajudicial killings of thousands. Too, within that time period Mr. Trump Mr. appeared to accept an invitation from Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif to visit Pakistan, a country that Mr. Obama has steered clear of, largely over tensions between Washington and Islamabad over counterterrorism policy and nuclear proliferation.
Within the same 48-hour period, in an affront to China, President-elect Donald J. Trump spoke by telephone with Taiwan's president on Friday, a striking break with nearly four decades of diplomatic practice that could precipitate a major rift with China even before Mr. Trump takes office.
These 'phone calls were made unbeknownst to anyone in his transition team who had knowledge of the proper conduct of foreign policy or diplomacy. Inside sources say that Trump staffers were astonished by the recklessness and stupidity of the 3 telephone conversations.
Now to the story: Donald Trump has a financial empire with holdings in 20 foreign countries including a $150 million tower in Manila's financial district - a 57-story symbol of affluence. The building was built in partnership with a member of the Philippine government headed by Rodrigo Dutere, an unstable, mercurial leader. Mr. Duterte and has called for American troops to exit the country in two years' time. His antidrug crusade has resulted in the summary killings of thousands of suspected criminals without trial.
Meanwhile, in Uzbekistan, Gregor Zylogek who is one of the greatest purveyors of "fake news," stories that are false and often repeated on Facebook and other social media sites, created a story that Mr Dutere, for an unspecified reason, was very angry with Donald Trump and had ordered the Philippine army to occupy the Trump Manila building has well as sites of a dozen other Trump holdings in the country.
The fake news story was reported on Facebook and was read by President-Elect Trump, who trolls the Internet for news, and who took the phony story for being true. In response to the fake news story, Mr. Trump got Mr. Duterte on the 'phone and told him if he didn't remove the troops he would invade the island as soon as he was elected President of The United States.
According to the Manila press, in response, Mr Duterte told Mr. Trump that he had never told his troops to occupy Trump properties but since he was such an obvious ass he now would occupy them, and furthermore, he would form an alliance with China and allow that great power to extend its sphere of influence far beyond what it currently enjoyed. "If all the U.S. troops aren't gone by the time you're sworn in to be President I'll personally order their deaths," Manila press reported Duterete telling Trump.
This reporter was able to contact Gregor Zylogek in Uzbekistan and ask him what his response was to being responsible for an international crisis that could lead to war between U.S. and China.
Mr. Azlogek told me in response that, "Uzbekistan is so far away from the part of the world that the nuclear fallout won't come here."
Taking that into account, this reporter is leaving the U.S. to live in Uzbekistan and this will be my last story for the New York Times.


Written by Keith Shirey

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Thursday, 1 December 2016
image for Trump's Chief Says Hard Not To Throw Nazi Salure


BY Richard Armour
In an effort to explain the meaning of the term alt.right, Steve Bannon, the Trump White House Chief of Staff, explained the term. When Bannon headed, who championed the alt.right, it was a kind of cesspool for neo-Nazis, anti-Semites, misogynists, white supremacists, homophobes and the like. But Bannon said that the alt.right on Breitbart often "was just a bunch of guys letting off steam and having fun."
Recently, after a meeting of white nationalists inside the Ronald Reagan building in Washington, members threw Nazi salutes and shouted, "Hail Trump, hail our people, hail victory!" In response, Bannon said that, while he would never throw the salute, "I do have to sometimes restrain my right arm from rising." He said the difference between die-hard alt.right fanatics and those who are softer, is whether they actually engage in the Nazi salute.
Bannon criticized the mass media for focusing on Trump's alt.right white racist supporters. "Sure, Donald spoke about Mexican rapists, Black President Barak Obama being illegitimate, and Muslims, who are darker skinned, being banned from America, but that is just the truth. "When you speak the truth you are not a racist," said Bannon.
"It's just like when you call women pigs, slobs, having faces ugly enough to stop trains, and fat losers. If it's the truth you're not a misogynist," stated Bannon.
My Breitbart site has been called a "front for white nationalists," Bannon said. "So what if it is. In America there's plenty of room for opposing views. If people don't believe in white racial superiority let them prove their case."

Thursday, December 1, 2016


Written by Keith Shirey
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Thursday, 1 December 2016
image for Trump Has Big Effect On Christmas Shopping
by New Correspondent Hillary Clinton
Christmas shopping is of course underway and many shoppers are taking into account future Trump Administration policies as they choose gifts.
Since Title X family planning programs and repeal of Obamacare, which provides the GOP will probably effectuate free birth control, the sale of condoms and gift certificates for IUD's has soared in 2016.
Anticipating the deregulation of the fossil fuel industry and the dismantling of the Environmental Protection Agency, buying of water purifiers, cloth face as well as gas masks has soared. Reportedly, millions of cases of bottled water are also being given as gifts.
To family and friends who were influenced by Fox News to vote for Trump, free gift subscriptions to Free Speech TV and The Nation magazine are soaring. Too, yearlong gift bonuses are given to those who have proof that they view Thom Hartmann and Amy Goodman online.
Because of Trump's thin-skinned retribution against opponents and his access to the nuclear codes, the rich are buying gifts of reinforced concrete underground shelters for friends and relatives.
Since Trump will stop federal funding of projects to protect coastlines against rising tides do to global warming, compassionate families are giving gift certificates promising relatives the opportunity to move in with them lest their houses be flooded and they suffer a suffocating, horrible death by drowning.
In the future the Food and Drug Administration will face severe cutbacks and impure food and drugs will be on the market. People aware of this are giving mason jars and other equipment for friends and relatives who wish to be engaged in canning food. Some are giving copies of Upton Sinclair's "The Jungle" to show those who receive them why it will be necessary to buy meat from other countries due to the danger of dying when consuming U.S. meat products in the future during a Trump Administration.
Gift certificates for pharmaceuticals to be purchased in Canada or other civilized countries are increasingly popular.
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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.