G.W. BUSH'S ASS-BASED FOREIGN POLICY

George W. Bush's Ass-Based Foreign Policy

By Jon Schwarz, Open Mike

26 October 13

eorge W. Bush's foreign policy was many things, but first and foremost, it was about asses. So it's no surprise an anonymous senior Bush administration official is now saying this:

"The only reason we went into Iraq, I tell people now, is we were looking for somebody's ass to kick. Afghanistan was too easy."

According to the book Hubris, Bush explained that Saddam Hussein was that someone:

As Fleischer recounted [an exchange with Helen Thomas about Saddam Hussein] for the president, Bush's mood changed...Out of nowhere, he unleashed a stream of expletives.

"Did you tell her I'm going to kick his sorry motherfucking ass all over the Mideast?"

By contrast, during the lead up to the Iraq war Tony Blair's ass received special privileges:

Shortly before the Commons debate, Mr Campbell recalls President Bush promising: "If you win the vote in Parliament, I'll kiss your ass."

And of course in Bush's own book, Decision Points, he explained how focused he was on asses on 9/11:

"My blood was boiling. We were going to find out who did this, and kick their ass."

Moreover, we were not going to settle for animal asses, as Bush explained in the Oval Officetwo days later on September 13th:

"When I take action I'm not going to fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt."

Most importantly, asses would not just be kicked, as was described in a book by Israeli journalist Uri Dan:

"It was an excellent discussion with the President," Sharon told me afterwards when we sat in a fancy colonial furnished corner of 'Blair House'..."The President was very friendly and he replied that he is decisive in continuing his total war against Bin Laden..." and here Sharon stopped for a moment, like someone who finds it hard to express the President's words, but he got over it and smiled: "He told me about Bin Laden - "I'LL SCREW HIM IN HIS ASS."

However, historians still disagree whether bin Laden's ass was to be kicked before being screwed or vice versa, or if the U.S. ever developed the technological capability to do both simultaneously.