THE SPOOF!
Psychological Association Chief Praises Ignorance
Saturday, 1 March 2014
THANKS TO PRESS, WE NEED FEWER OF THEM
NEW YORK TIMES
by John Watson
Andrew Warhol, President of the American Psychological Association, today praised American Journalists for helping to reduce tension among readership in U.S. newspapers.
"The almost complete omission of historical background or context to the reporting of news stories greatly reduces stress and anxiety." he stated. As a case study Warhol analyzed the arrest by Mexican authorities of Joaquin (El Chapo) Guzman Loera, the leader of the Sinola Cartel for violence and drug trafficking.
No newspaper in the U.S., pointed out that Mr. Loera escaped from prison, the last time he was arrested with the help of Mexican authorities Dr. Warhol stated.
"Nor did the U.S. press report that the authorities have been complicit in violence and drug trafficking with various drug cartels," he said.
"And, of course, the facts of Lorera's previous arrest, his first confession, which named the people in power he was paying off, and the threat he received from Mexican authorities to change it, which he did, is not mentioned in American newspapers," stated the American Psychological Association's head.
Dr. Worhol stated that these "excellent omissions" prevented press readership from engaging in critical analysis, which is a stressor. "Thinking is hard work and often anxiety producing" he said.
Warhol also praised the U.S. press for barely mentioning that two senior members in the Sinaloa cartel-one called El Mayo and another one called El Azul-will keep it functioning at the highest levels.
Finally, Dr. Warhol commended the press for not raising the issue of whether the "War On Drugs" was a catastrophic failure in both Mexico and the United States. "It's cost hundreds of thousands of lives, millions in dollars, and the quality, quantity, and availability of drugs have not been effected," he said.
"To think about these issues would cause so much stress and anxiety that it would entail an even higher usage of anti-psychotic medications in the U.S. which is already huge. We all need to congratulate the U.S. press on its perpetuation of ignorance," concluded the head of the American Psychological Association.
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