WHY I'VE DECIDED TO BECOME A TEA PARTY REPUBLICAN

WHY I’VE DECIDED TO BECOME A TEA PARTY REPUBLICAN, IT'S THE GUNS. 

Guns.  When I was nine years old I would take my Red Ryder BB gun down to the

Rio Hondo river bed across from my grandfather’s feed store in Garvey Acres in what later became South El Monte.  I’d shoot at birds and always miss because the gun had no real power.  But, one day,  I shot  at this bird, at fairly close range, and hit him.  The bird fell off his perch and died.  It was a wonderful experience!  I learned what it felt like to be a man:  the ability to kill harmless, innocent creatures. 

Since then, my friend George and I have gone out numerous times to target ranges where we kill people in the shape of human beings by hitting vulnerable parts of their paper bodies.  It’s really neat.  It’s a great bonding experience for us;  we know what it means to be real men.  It’s  part of understanding what God, Guts, and Country  stands for.

When I was in my early thirties I forgot all about masculinity and got swept up by the hippie, anti-war, peace and love culture of the late sixties and early seventies.  I didn’t even own a gun!  Part of that experience was getting sucked into believing the left wing ideology of the times.   I’ve held onto those beliefs until  recently,  when the brilliant,  incisive, and  thoughtful facebook postings of my conservative friends have shown me  the terrible error of my ways. 

Perhaps the most instrumental, in terms of changing my point of view, are postings of these  friends of NRA statements related to gun control.   They reminded me of what it means to be a true man.  A real man loves his gun as well as he loves anything.  A sissy man won’t have anything to do with guns .  But a real man knows that sissy liberals would take away their  gun if they could.  The NRA knows it and now I know it.  Taking away a man’s gun is taking away his manhood.   As I get older I really want to preserve my masculinity.   These limp-wristed liberals would like to take that away from me.

Now, I support the police and the military as much as anyone.  I consider myself a law abiding citizen.   I mean, since I’ve recently become an ultra conservative, I’m really a law and order guy.  But if, under the orders of the limp wristed, the  military or police come for my gun,  I’d just as soon shoot them as I would a bird or jackrabbit.   God Bless America!