THE SPOOF!
GOP Gives Astonishing, Super Duper Obama Rebuttal
Wednesday, 29 January 2014
"I JUST LOVED ROGERS' SPEECH"
NEW YORK TIMES
by William Safire
Tuesday evening, Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-WA) was tabbed by the Republican Party to deliver their official response to President Obama's State of the Union address.
It would seem that Republicans wanted a woman to deliver this response to try to convince the average voter watching that they are not waging a continuous 'War on Women.'
Early poll results indicate that Rodges rebuttal to President Obama received a 99% approval rating among GOP TV viewers. Rodgers, a good-looking representative, repeatedly talked about God, the Bible, the Flag, and her children.
She also said that Republicans had "plans" to deal with the problems of unemployment, education, working families, income inequality, the environment, protecting the most vunerable Americans, national defense, and immigration. She offered no details, facts, information, particulars or specifics.
She repeatedly made statements along the lines that the GOP "trusts people to make their own decisions, not a government that decides for you."
She also discussed the idea that it was important to "kiss your kids" before putting them to bed at night. She suggested too that what the President had to say in his address, and the congressional response to it, "was of no significance" because what "is going on in our homes is of more importance."
Mrs. Bertha Bigg, 44, of Kiowa Ks,, who was part of a focus group, responded to Rep. Rodgers presentation by saying that "She came across as a cross between Laura Bush and Michelle Bachman. I really like that and I sure like her smile."
Peter Slow, 63, also part of the focus group, from Los Angeles, CA. said "she spoke like she was talking to pre-kintergarden children; that was really just swell. I felt like she was my mother reading me nursery rhymes when I was a little boy. America is just so lucky to have patriots like Cathy."
Observed Keith Keith, 24, of Palm Beach, "When she said 'Brookland' instead of 'Brooklyn' I thought that she was just so human, like she's one with the ordinary American people. She just so pretty. I'm not married yet but now I'm going to look for someone just like her. She's a real woman."
Several in the focus group, who greatly admired McMorris Rodgers said, to the effect, that she talked to the American people just like they were her children and how comfortable that made them feel.
The GOP 99% approval rating is quite astonishing and one expects that Rep. Rodgers may well announce her candidacy for the 2016 presidential race.
It looks now like the democrats accusing republicans of a war on women had better come up with another issue with which to attack republicans.
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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.
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