Saturday, January 25, 2014

PRESIDENT OBAMA HAS A WEED PROBLEM




IF YOU CLCK ON THE LINK BELOW YOU'LL BE ABLE TO ACCESS MY SATIRE WORK ON VARIOUS SUBJECTS BY CLICKING ON "NEWS ARTICLES."  THEY ALL HAVE THE HIGHEST POSSIBLE RATINGS AND MANY VIEWS.  IF YOU ARE A PROGRESSIVE YOU MIGHT WANT TO GIVE 5 THUMBS UP TO ALL OF MY POSTS.  PLEASE GO TO BOTTOM OF HOME PAGE AND LOOK FOR "OUR WRITERS."  UNDER THAT YOU'LL SEE "SEARCH FOR WRITER."  JUST TYPE IN KEITH SHIREY AND YOU'LL SEE ALL OF MY "NEWS STORIES" " MAGAZINE ARTICLES," AND "SNIPPETS."  YOU CAN ACTUALLY RATE ALL DOZENS OF THEM.  I'M IN COMPETITION WITH 2 RIGHT-WINGERS FOR TOP WRITERS SPOT.  I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET BECAUSE THEY EVIDENTLY HAVE A LOT OF SUPPORT FROM TEA PARTIERS.  THANKS.

http://www.thespoof.com/profile.cfm?uID=14655S


THE SPOOF!

PRESIDENT OBAMA HAS A WEED PROBLEM



Monday, 20 January 2014
image for President Obama Has A Weed Problem
Yesterday at a news conference President Obama said that marijuana is no more dangerous than alcohol. He also said that he approved of the use of medical marijuana under controlled conditions governed by state law. As he said this, sweat dripped down from his forehead and his face was flushed.
Of more interest is that his eyes were bloodshot and his pupils dilated; he talked much more slowly than usual. To use a 25-year-old- term, he was "tripping out." What was most noticeable: He seemed to have this uncontrollable itch on the tip of his nose, and it seemed to grow.
That is probably because he knows that he has a weed problem. It isn't just that he was a pothead during his youth, under his direction, the Department Of Injustice has averaged 36 medical marijuana prosecutions a year since he took office.
This is in spite of the fact that when he campaigned for office in 2008 he said he supported medical marijuana. But these medical pot arrests took place in states where legitimate marijuana businesses operated within state law.
So, What explains this massive hypocrisy and willingness to ruin people's lives to enforce a prohibition he doesn't agree with?
After extensive research by this reporter, undertaken long before yesterday's news conference, I can tell you why.
In top campaign strategy meetings for both the 2008 and 2012 presidential elections David Ax, Richard Piffled, Phil Messina and others seemed to emerge from the sessions in a semi-drunken condition. One reporter noted in 2007 that a large briefcase, carried by Mr. Ax, was left open revealing over 75 "mini" bottles (200 ml) bottles of Jack Daniels, Johnny Walker Black and other up scale whiskeys.

Where they came from was no mystery. At many of the strategy meetings, often held with major state field representatives, a lobbyist from the Distilled Spirits Council of The United States was present.
The meetings also were sometimes attended by representatives of Big Pharma.
I'm not suggesting that alcohol distillers and prescreption drug manufactures were the only lobbyists in Obama campaign strategy meetings. That would be hardly so. As one can imagine, Wall Street Bankers and financiers like Bernie Madoff -before his arrest - were there too, along with, in 2011, Canadian Tar Sands players,the Israeli lobby, and chemical company people.
This led me to look at the donations of interests that would be the most opposed to medical pot and/or recreational marijuana. Those of course would be alcohol and drug industries. There contributions were in the millions, and since much of the money is untraceable the exact amounts will never be known.
According to a new report by the Center for Progressive Reform, the Obama White House has weakened regulation in favor of corporate interests even more than the Bush administration. Of course Obamacare was nothing but a scheme to put money into the pockets of the drug industry.
One supposes that that the former pothead President oversees the arrest of hundreds of medical marijuana growers and uses, not to mention hundreds of thousands of other low-level drug offenders in the U.S. prison gulag, in order to reward his distillery contributors who know that a pot high is preferable to being drunk. Of course Big Pharma would prefer people to take percocet, not cannabis, for back pain.
Well, Barry-the-former-pot-man indeed now has a weed problem.
Elizabeth Drew, in her special article for the New York Review, 12/22/13, noted that the President's nose has grown a full inch since he took office. If he continues to talk about the medical marijuana issue, it will grow so long that, like Senator John Kerry, he'll desperately be in need of cosmetic surgery.
And, Mr. President, what about those dilated pupils?
Make Keith Shirey's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)
The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.
If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
   Print this
   
[0 comments]
 Discuss this story in the forum


More by this writer

Funny story:  Buffet, Gates Provide Re-Settlement To Africa For W. Virginians

Buffet, Gates Provide Re-Settlement To Africa For W. Virginians

Community organizers from two groups whose purpose is to better education, health, safety, and environmental quality have refused to stay in the state of West Virginia. They have opened up a website exposing the futility of working there and have...
View Story
Funny story:  Buffet, Gates Provide Re-Settlement To Africa For W. Virginians

Buffet, Gates Provide Re-Settlement To Africa For W. Virginians

Community organizers from two groups whose purpose is to better education, health, safety, and environmental quality have refused to stay in the state of West Virginia. They have opened up a website exposing the futility of working there and have...
View Story
Funny story:  Empire State Building To Be Demolished

Empire State Building To Be Demolished

ARCHITECTURAL DIGEST by Frank Lloyd Wright In the effort to make New York City the most modern of all cosmopolitan urban centers in the world, the Empire State Building is set to be demolished this coming March. Too, the uber modern, Museum...
View Story
Funny story:  CBS Newsman Schieffer's Nose Turns Brown As Guest's Grows

CBS Newsman Schieffer's Nose Turns Brown As Guest's Grows

On Bob Schieffer's "Face The Nation " program this morning on CBS, the first guest was House Intelligence Committee Chairman, GOP Rep. Mike Rogers. The topic was the report from a panel commissioned by President Obama making recommendations for...
View Story
Funny story:  OK For Chemical-Oil-Coal Giants To Destroy W. Va

OK For Chemical-Oil-Coal Giants To Destroy W. Va

A chemical spill has left 300.000 residents without water for days and most still don't believe state authorities who say it's now safe to turn on the tap water. But at a fundraiser held last night, in Washington, D.C., sponsored by "The Coalition...
View Story
Funny story:  Duck Dynasty Clan to Move to Iran

Duck Dynasty Clan to Move to Iran

Phil Robertson, star of the reality TV show Duck Dynasty, said today that the whole Robertson clan will move to the nation of Iran. "We just think we'll be more comfortable there" he said. "They're not right-wing fundamentalist Christians like us,...
View Story

No comments:

Post a Comment