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THE SPOOF!
PRESIDENT OBAMA HAS A WEED PROBLEM
Monday, 20 January 2014
Yesterday at a news conference President Obama said that marijuana is no more dangerous than alcohol. He also said that he approved of the use of medical marijuana under controlled conditions governed by state law. As he said this, sweat dripped down from his forehead and his face was flushed.
Of more interest is that his eyes were bloodshot and his pupils dilated; he talked much more slowly than usual. To use a 25-year-old- term, he was "tripping out." What was most noticeable: He seemed to have this uncontrollable itch on the tip of his nose, and it seemed to grow.
That is probably because he knows that he has a weed problem. It isn't just that he was a pothead during his youth, under his direction, the Department Of Injustice has averaged 36 medical marijuana prosecutions a year since he took office.
This is in spite of the fact that when he campaigned for office in 2008 he said he supported medical marijuana. But these medical pot arrests took place in states where legitimate marijuana businesses operated within state law.
So, What explains this massive hypocrisy and willingness to ruin people's lives to enforce a prohibition he doesn't agree with?
After extensive research by this reporter, undertaken long before yesterday's news conference, I can tell you why.
In top campaign strategy meetings for both the 2008 and 2012 presidential elections David Ax, Richard Piffled, Phil Messina and others seemed to emerge from the sessions in a semi-drunken condition. One reporter noted in 2007 that a large briefcase, carried by Mr. Ax, was left open revealing over 75 "mini" bottles (200 ml) bottles of Jack Daniels, Johnny Walker Black and other up scale whiskeys.
Where they came from was no mystery. At many of the strategy meetings, often held with major state field representatives, a lobbyist from the Distilled Spirits Council of The United States was present.
Where they came from was no mystery. At many of the strategy meetings, often held with major state field representatives, a lobbyist from the Distilled Spirits Council of The United States was present.
The meetings also were sometimes attended by representatives of Big Pharma.
I'm not suggesting that alcohol distillers and prescreption drug manufactures were the only lobbyists in Obama campaign strategy meetings. That would be hardly so. As one can imagine, Wall Street Bankers and financiers like Bernie Madoff -before his arrest - were there too, along with, in 2011, Canadian Tar Sands players,the Israeli lobby, and chemical company people.
This led me to look at the donations of interests that would be the most opposed to medical pot and/or recreational marijuana. Those of course would be alcohol and drug industries. There contributions were in the millions, and since much of the money is untraceable the exact amounts will never be known.
According to a new report by the Center for Progressive Reform, the Obama White House has weakened regulation in favor of corporate interests even more than the Bush administration. Of course Obamacare was nothing but a scheme to put money into the pockets of the drug industry.
One supposes that that the former pothead President oversees the arrest of hundreds of medical marijuana growers and uses, not to mention hundreds of thousands of other low-level drug offenders in the U.S. prison gulag, in order to reward his distillery contributors who know that a pot high is preferable to being drunk. Of course Big Pharma would prefer people to take percocet, not cannabis, for back pain.
Well, Barry-the-former-pot-man indeed now has a weed problem.
Elizabeth Drew, in her special article for the New York Review, 12/22/13, noted that the President's nose has grown a full inch since he took office. If he continues to talk about the medical marijuana issue, it will grow so long that, like Senator John Kerry, he'll desperately be in need of cosmetic surgery.
And, Mr. President, what about those dilated pupils?
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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.
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